The Lost Vinyl Scratch Tape
by That Gamer
Summary: Found in a box in Vinyl and Octavia' house, it's the lost Vinyl Scratch tape before she became a radio personality! How was she before getting on the radio? Who did she interview? What madness will happen? Will Bonbon eat all of Vinyl's pie? Read to find out! Rated K plus because it is. One shot.


**A/N: I've been doing some research of _My Little Pony_ fanfiction on the MLP Fan Labour Wiki and I found a little gem called _The Vinyl Scratch Tapes_. I've never read it, but this is my take on it.**

**The Lost Vinyl Scratch Tape  
****Hosted by DJ P0N-3 and Octavia  
****Featuring special guest Lyra Vynn  
****Recorded in Vinyl and Octavia's basement February 2nd, 2012**

DJ P0N-3: Hello Equestria! Welcome to my show! Yes, it still doesn't have a name, go figure. And here with me is Octavia Pie!... 'Tavia?

[door can be heard slamming in the distance]

DJ P0N-3: Oh, it seem she just left. [forced laugh] But that's OK. I'm still here! [poor singing] The show must go on! [normally] Anyways, today, I'm going to have Lyra with me and I'm... [short pause] Going to interview her, since Twilight says she's busy. Funny how she's always said that. Anyways, please enjoy my mixes while I go get Lyra.

[a mixtape is put on, with DJ P0N-3 going off being heard in the background. DJ P0N-3 and Lyra arguing is audible, but it can't be made out. Moments later, the tape is shut off, abruptly]

DJ P0N-3: And here I am, back with Lyra!... Lyra, why are you standing on your hind legs?

Lyra: [in the background] Why aren't you?

DJ P0N-3: Because I'm normal! Now get over here!

Lyra: [mutters something]

[crash]

DJ P0N-3: What was that for?

Lyra: For insulting the way I walk. Anyways, let's get this interview over with.

DJ P0N-3: OK, um... [paper shuffles] How long have you been in PonyVille.

Lyra: Since 2010, like most ponies.

DJ P0N-3: You sound less excited then normal, man. What's... Uh, the deal?

Lyra: You, alright? If you can't let me be the way I wanna be, then why be here?

DJ P0N-3: [laughter] 'Cause I'm paying you? Why else!

Lyra: You owe me 5 bits.

DJ P0N-3: Yes, yes... Anyways, lighten up. Our listeners wouldn't want to here some-pony as depressing as you.

Lyra: ...We're in your basement talking to a tape recorder.

DJ P0N-3: You're ruining the illusion, dude! But anyways, next question... Do you really want to, like, be human?

Lyra: No! Why would you ask that?

DJ P0N-3: I have photos.

Lyra: You don't.

DJ P0N-3: Yes I do!

Lyra: Give them!

DJ P0N-3: I don't wanna, man!

[crash]

DJ P0N-3: There, now you have you're stupid photos! Now can be please continue?

Lyra: Sure. [rip] I have a question for you. Why did you write my name as Lyra Vynn?

DJ P0N-3: Hey, I ask the question around here! But, since you're wondering, does anybody here remember remeber Vera Lynn?

[short pause, interrupted by a cassette clicking on and a cricket sound effect playing]

DJ P0N-3: What, just me?

Lyra: Yeah, just you.

[door can be heard slamming from upstairs]

DJ P0N-3: I think Octavia's back. Let me go fetch her. [can heard going off]

Lyra: Wait, what about... [sigh] Fine, I'll take on the host duties. [pause, DJ P0N-3 and Octavia arguing being audible] So I heard something about Princess Celestia... Abandoning her duties again to play X-Box... Weird, huh?.. [pause, followed by drinking] I didn't know she had so many straws down here. And... [pause] Root beer. And pie. Vinyl's weird.

[DJ P0N-3 comes back]

DJ P0N-3: Octavia quit the show. Hey, gimme my mic back!

Lyra: I didn't touch it.

DJ P0N-3: You're touch my root beer.

Lyra: Hey, I wasn't finished with that!

DJ P0N-3: You can have it after the question. [clinking] Aw, I spilled it. But that's not- My rug! No!

Lyra: It's not important. I thought your motto was "Nothing is real".

DJ P0N-3: Except for the rug! It was really real! It was real as the seventh Element of Harmony!

Lyra: There is no seventh Element of Harmony. [can is heard opening, following by drinking]

DJ P0N-3: Nothing is real! If the seventh element is unreal, it makes my carpet real since if it's unreal, my motto makes it real!

Octavia: [from upstairs] That has no logical reasoning behind it!

DJ P0N-3: You're not part of this! Ugh... [bottle is opened, drinking follows] I love P0M Wonderful. All the pomegranate I've come to except from a drink like this.

Lyra: Stop advertising. Remember, the interview?

DJ P0N-3: Right... [papers shuffle around] Let me just skip a couple... Have you always been friends with Bonbon?

Lyra: Since ever. In fact, she's right here.

DJ P0N-3: What the- [cry of surprise] How did Y0U get in here?

Bonbon: Um...

DJ P0N-3: Just stay there and be silent. If you don't, I'm gonna Screwball on you.

Lyra: Don't threaten my best friend with that weirdo!

DJ P0N-3: [mutters] This is, like, going nowhere. [normal voice] Um, that's all the time we have for you, Lyra... You can leave now.

Lyra: Fine. C'mon, Bonbon. [both leave]

DJ P0N-3: [sigh of relief] OK, next on my show we're, going to, um, give you a weather update! [quickly runs upstairs, then back down] It is raining. Over just my place. That is so weird.

Octavia: [from upstairs] If you'd actually look, you'd see it's raining all over PonyVille.

DJ P0N-3: You're not part of this! Anyways, after these songs, we're going live to street... Once it stops raining, that is... Uh... [awkward pause] I'm a born level puller!

[mix tape, followed by rough cut to DJ P0N-3 outside, which is made obvious by the wind]

DJ P0N-3: OK, now it's time for my street report... It's stopped raining, which is weird, 'cause everywhere else looks dry. Really dry. But, anyways, man, let's, uh, go find some ponies to talk to. Like this one! Hey, you, out beyond the wall, get over here!

Random Pony: What, what do you want?

DJ P0N-3: I'm DJ P0N-3 and I'm part of a... Show. Right now I'm doing my street portion!

Random Pony: OK. Why are you talking to me?

DJ P0N-3: Oh, right. In my street portion, I um... [tch] Ask ponies my question of the recording!

Random Pony: Do I have to?

DJ P0N-3: C'mon! Please?

Random Pony: [sigh] Fine, what's the question?

DJ P0N-3: Who were The Rutles?

Random Pony: The Rutles?

DJ P0N-3: Yeah, I said "The Rutles". [Derpy can be heard faintly n the background] Who were they?

Random Pony: I don't know!

DJ P0N-3: You sure? You must know something!

Random Pony: No, I don't!

DJ P0N-3: [grunt] Spoilsport.

Random Pony: [goes off, muttering under breath]

DJ P0N-3: Well that was weird. Now to find somebody else to ask!

[long silence]

DJ P0N-3: Hey, there's Rainbow Dash! I don't know what she's doing walking, but, I like, need some-pony to ask! [hoof steps] Hey, Rainbow, can I ask you something?

Rainbow: Not now, OK?

DJ P0N-3: PLEASE? This'll only take a second, man!

Rainbow: No. Now go away.

DJ P0N-3: Why? What's wrong?

Rainbow: [mutters] I don't want to talk about it.

DJ P0N-3: ...Have you always been wingless?

Rainbow: [runs off]

DJ P0N-3: I was just asking! Well, I still need to ask one more pony. [pause] I'm bored. I'm going back to my studio.

[rough cut back to DJ P0N-3's "studio"]

DJ P0N-3: Next up on my show we will- Bonbon, why are you still here?

Bonbon: [mouth's full] I'm in your base, eating your pies.

DJ P0N-3: Well, get outta here!

Bonbon: [swallows] Fine, I'll eat 'em up stairs. [goes upstairs]

Octavia: That was weird.

DJ P0N-3: I know, right? Anyways, next on your show, Octavia will being her weekly book review. Octavia, what book do you have for us?

Octavia: Well, I recently read a book that I'm sure was trying to rival the Daring Do series and, while it wasn't bad, I can't say it wasn't perfect either.

DJ P0N-3: If you're talking about the book I think you're talking about, I loved the thing with the fridge a-and the [makes an explosion sound] and the-

Octavia: Well, personally, I think it's statistically impossible. An explosion would destroy a fridge, regardless of how it's made.

[door can be heard opening quietly upstairs, followed by hoof steps]

DJ P0N-3: But it was awesome!

Octavia: Just because it's quote-unquote "awesome" doesn't mean it's good in any relative way. And aside from that utterly ridiculous moment, the book was sloppily written and there were a ton of plotholes. I just couldn't get into it. Overall, it gets two hooves down.

DJ P0N-3: Well, I give it... Whatever the opposite of down is! Which is "up". I'm not stupid.

Octavia: If you're not stupid, then Rainbow Dash really is a lesbian.

DJ P0N-3: If she's a lesbian, then Pinkie Pie has wings!

Octavia: Actually, I did see then when I went out-

DJ P0N-3: What's Equestria coming to?

[some-pony is heard coming downstairs]

Lyra: [in the background] I dunno, but I forgot my root beer down here!

DJ P0N-3: You're root beer! It's mine!

Lyra: [moves closer to the recorder] Yeah, but I opened it.

DJ P0N-3: So?

Lyra: I drank from it.

DJ P0N-3: So?

Lyra: My name is on it!

DJ P0N-3: So?

Lyra: So, it's mine!

DJ P0N-3: 0K. You can have it for ten bits.

Lyra: What the- You owe me five!

DJ P0N-3: Great! Now give me the other five!

Lyra: I don't owe you anything! You owe me!

DJ P0N-3: [laugh] [in a mock British accent] Surely you jest.

Lyra: No, I'm not.

DJ P0N-3: And stop standing on your hind legs!

Lyra: I will walk on my hind legs as long as I want to!

DJ P0N-3/Lyra: [start arguing over each other]

Octavia: We'll be right back...

[another rough cut; struggling can be hear din the background]

Octavia: Well, it seems that Vinyl and Lyra are fighting over that can... I honestly never though I'd see that. So, for now-

[crash]

Octavia: Uh... So, for now, I'll be taking hold of this. [mutters] Why am I doing this? No-pony's listening! [normally] Um, anyways-

[crash]

Octavia: Anyways, I-

[phone rings]

Octavia: What in the world...? Oh, Vinyl has a phone. I wonder she got that. [presses a button] You're on speaker. Octavia speaking.

Twilight: Hey, Octavia, this is Twilight. Look, I'm having a bit of an-

[crash]

Twilight: What's going on back there?

Octavia: Nothing. You were saying.

Twilight: Right. So, I'm having a bit of a problem over here and I can't meet with you today.

Octavia: Ah. That's too bad.

[crash]

Twilight: If only you knew what was going on.

Octavia: What is going on?

Twilight: I don't wanna talk about it... [hangs up]

Octavia: [presses another button] [awkwardly] And that was Twilight.

[struggling dies down]

DJ P0N-3: Fine! Y-you can- You can have your stupid root beer! Just get out of my basement!

Lyra: Thanks. [goes upstairs and out the door]

DJ P0N-3: [mutters under breath] That lousy unicorn... Why I oughta-

Octavia: [clears throat]

DJ P0N-3: Oh, right. Next up-

[abruptly cuts out]

Octavia shut off the tape player and gave Vinyl a disapproving glare.

"And how long did you go on for after that" Octavia asked her house-mate slowly.

"Two hours," Vinyl muttered in reply.

Octavia nodded. "And why did you play this on live radio?"

"Because I felt like it," Vinyl muttered.

"Now you know why I put lost on the front," Octavia told Vinyl, taking the tape out and putting on a box. "Never let any-pony listen to these."

"I can't make any promises," Vinyl laughed quietly.

"What was that?" Octavia snapped.

"Um... I, uh..." Vinyl stammered. "I, um... You see... I... sold your cello again?"

Octavia's eye twitched.

**A/N: And there you go. My take on _The Vinyl Scratch Tapes_. If you wanna see more, too bad. This is That Gamer, saying Bonum nocte et fortuna. I hope you got all the references.**


End file.
